MURRDY!

JESSUS CRHIRST KIDS

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 06:40:40 GMT

FUFCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

GOOD GOD I AM GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE FROM SITTING HERE

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I NEED TO LIKE FUCKING GET UP AND MOVE

SCHOOL STARTES PRETTY FUCKING SOON I HOPE IT DOESN'T SUCK SHIT

>: CAUSE IF IT DOES.............................

HOPING I CAN HAVE SOMETHING TO DO BESIDES ROTTING HERE IN MY OWN TEARS/SWEAT/OTHER VARIOUS BODILY FLUIDS

NOBODY TALKS TO ME ANYMORE I'M PRETTY LONELY I TELL YOU WHAT

EVEN KAIT STOPPED TALKTING TO ME ALL THE TIME >: YES KAIT, YOU

THE ONE OF .....LIKE 2 PEOPLE EVERGOING TO READ THIS I THINK

FARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

STUPID FUCKING LIVING

SOMEBODY COME SAVE ME BEFORE I START LIGHTING THINGS ON FIRE

I'LL DO IT TO JUST WATCH ME

FUCKERS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAM GOING INSANEBECAUSE I'M FUCKING CRAZY LIKETHAT

I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL SO I CAN SIT THEREA DN DRAW THIGSN IN A NOTEBOOK AND MAKE SOMETHING COOL

AND HILARIOUS

BECAUSE I'M A PRETTY FUNNY GUY YOYU KNOW

SERSIUOLY

THIS ONE TIME

THERE WAS THIS GUY AND I WAS ALL "PUT THAT IN YOUR PIP AND SMOKE IT"

AND HE WAS ALL "WHOAT?"

AND I WAS LIKE

(I'M PARAP[HORSASING BY THE WAY)

"THATS RIGHT MOTHERFUKCER"

AND HE WAS ALL 8|

YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T LIKE

THAT'S RIGHT

INDIANS

FUCK THEY STEAL OUR LAND AND RAPE OUR WOMEN

I SWERA TO GOD THEY ARE LIARS

LOOK WE WERE HERE FIRST MAN

LOOK AT THE FACTS, JACK

THIS IS AMERICA, NOT INDIA

WE'RE AMIERICANS AND THEY ARE INDIANS

WHAT THE FUCK

TELLING US WE TOOK THIS LAND

LOOK AT THE FUCKING NAME PANCHO, NOT CALLED INJUNLAND

AMERICA

LOOK CHEIF LETSCALLCORNMAIZE

IF WE DIDN'T PUT YOUR GRANDPARENTS INTO CONCENTRATION CAMPS THEY WOULDN'T HAVE MET AND YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE STEALING OUR LAND AND SHIT

QUIOT SENDING ME FUCKING FAXES ABOUT HOW YOU'RE FUCKING MAD BECAUSE WE KILLED THE BUFFALOES

FUCKING BUFFLALOSE

THATS RIGHT WE KILLED THOSE FUCKERS

WE'D KILL THEM AGAIN TOO

MTOEHRIFUKCING BUFFALOSES

I FUCKING HATE BUFFALOS

THEY ARE FUCKING ASSHOLESS

I WISH THERE WAS A FUCKING BUFFALO RIGHT HERE I'D PUNCH HIM IN HIS ASSHOLE NOSE

FUCK

I AM MELTING MY MIND WITH THOUGHTS

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 04:18:42 GMT

BUT SERSIOULY FOLKS

COME HERE AND SIT ON MY LAP I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A STORRY

OHOHOHOHOHO

TAKE YOUR COAT OFF IT IS WARM IN HERE TAHTS' GOOD

ALRIGHT ALRLIGHT (I'M MAKING THIS UP AS I GO ALONG I DON'T KNOW WHAT IM'M DOING I HOPE I TURN OUT OKAY)

ANYWAYS

ONCE UPON A TIME
THIS IS A LONG TIME AGO MIND YOU
LIKE BEFORE SHOES THAT'S A REAL LONG TIME AGO

ALRIGHT WELL MAYBE THERE WERE SOME SHOES BUT NOT LIKE FUCKING FANCY SHOES WE HAVE NOW

WITH LIKE LACES AND ALL THAT SHIT?

NO THESE WERE BADASS SHOES BACK IN THESE DAYS

LIKE THESE FUCKING SHOES YOU WOULD HAVE TO JUST WAIT WAIT WAIT

I'M GETTING OFF TRACK HERE SONS, LET ME START OVER

ANYWAY

THIS GUY HE IS WORKING IN THE FIELDS DOING HARD WORK

HIS NAME IS EDUARDO

AND EDUARDO(I'M REGRETTING GIVING HIM THAT NAME I DON'T LIKE IT I'LL CHANGE IT LATER) ANY EDUARDO SAYS "OH BOY I SURE AM TIRED OF WORKING IN THESE FIELDS" AND HE GOES AND HE GETS A GLASS OF GATORADE(tm) AHH GATORADE THAT STUFF WILL HIT THE SPOT IF YOU ARE EVER THIRSTY IT'S BETTER THAT WATER(tm)SHIT BECAUSE IT'S GOT LIKE UHH ENZYMES AND SHTI

ANYWAY JEFF (THAT'S HIS NEW NAME) WAS SITTING THERE AND HE WAS WISHING HE COULD HAVE A MORE FULFILLING LIFE

SO AN ANGEL CAME DOWN AND SAID "HALT!" AND THE ANGEL PULLED OUT HIS FUCKING .44 AND SAID "I'VE BEEN SENT FROM GOD TO KILL YOU " AND JEFF IS ALL LIKE "YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY!" AND THEN THE ANGEL HE LOOKS AT A LITTLE PIECE OF PAPER IN HIS PALM AND HE KIND OF SMIRKS AND HE'S ALL "OH RIGHT RIGHT MY BAD" AND HE FLIES INTO THE SKY WITH HIS FISTS HELD HIGH

THE CAMERA SPINS BACK TO JEFF WHO IS NOW FOR SOME REASON BEING PLAYED BY AN ASIAN MAN

AND JEFF IS ALL LIKE "WHOOOO, THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE"

THE VOICE IS OBVIOUSLY OVERDUBBED BY SOMEONE UNKNOWN WE SEE THE ACTOR HE ISN'T EVEN MOVING HIS MOUTH HE IS JUST LOOKING AROUND CONFUSED

AND HE GOES BACK TO WOKRING IN THE FIELDS

NOW JEFF IS AT THE TOP OF THIS HILL AND SUDDENLY THESE TWO CRAZY KIDS COME UP THE HILL ONE GUY AND A GIRL

AND THEY'RE ALL LIKE "HEY WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE WE CAN GET SOME WATER?" AND JEFF IS ALL LIKE

"I FUCKINNG HATE WATER YOU STUPID WATER FAGGGOTS" AND JEFF TAKES A SHOVEL AND SMACKS THE BOY AND BREAKS HIS FUCKING CROWN RIGHT OPEN AND KICKS HIM DOWN THE HILL, IT DIDN'T TAKE HIM LONG TO GIVE THAT GIRL A GOOD JAB TO THE RIBS AND A SMACK CAUSING HER TO FALL RIGHT AFTER HER COMPANION

"FUCKING WATER FAGGOTS" SAID JEFF

"ALL IN A DAYS WORK"

HE IS STILL PLAYED BY AN ASIAN MAN NOT SAYING THE LINES

NOW SUDDENLY HE IS BEING PLAYED BY A HANDSOME YOUNG FAMOUS ACTOR, HE TURNS TOWARD THE CAMERA AND SMILES

"THE MORAL?" HE SAYS WITH A GRIN

"I'VE GOT YOUR MORAL RIGHT HERE"

A MONTAGE OF CLIPS SHOWING THE ACTOR HAVING SEX WTIH DIFFERENT MEN IS SHOWN AS THE CREDITS ROLL

THE END

AND THAT KIDS IS MY STORY

I HOPE YOU ALL LEARNED A VALUBAL LESSON HEARTY LAUGH PAT ON SHOULDER

OHOHOHOHO

WELL KIDS IT LOOKS LIKE THE STORM CLEARED UP YOU CAN ALL GO BACK TO PLAYING OUTSIDE

LOOK AT ME I'M WRITING THINGS IN A THING DURR DURR DURR

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 03:38:33 GMT

SO TODAY I WAS SITTING THERE RIGHT!

AND I CAEM UP IWTH THIS JOKE AND IT'S FUNNY IT'S GOT A PUCNHLINE AND EVERYTHING

ALRIGHT

SO TWO INDIANS NO WAIT LL..... WELL OKAY INDIANS

ANYWAYS

TWO INDEANS WALK INTO A BAR AND THE BARTEDNER SAYS "HEY DIDNT' YOU GUYS SEE THE SIGN?"

AND THE INDIANS LOOKUP AND THEY SEE THIS SIGN RIGHT AND IT SAYS "HEY, NO INDIANS ALLOWED PLEASE"

AND THEN THE INDIEANS ARE ALL "OH MY BAD"

AND THEY LEAVE BECAUSE THEY AREN'T ALLOWED IN THAT BAR

THE END

BUT SERIUOSLY

IT NEEDS WORK BUT IT HAS POTENTIALTO BE LIKE REALLY RELALY FUNNY

LIKE A JOKE THAT PEOPLE SEND EACHOTHER IN THE MAIL AND TELL EVERYONE AT WORK SITTING AT THE WATER DISPENSER MACHINE WITH THOSE LITTLE CUPS AND THEY'RE ALL LIKE OH MY TIE HAS GONE CROOKED OH BY THE WAY I HEARD THIS JOKE TODAY

THAT'S HOW BIG IT WILL BE

OH HOLY FUCK SHIT

ANYWAYS I THINK IT'S BAOUT TIME I HAD A SERIOUS TALK WITH YOU INTERNET FRIENDS

I HAVE BEEN THINKING THAT WE SHOULD UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOU KNOW

DO IT

BECAUSE I THINK ITS GOOD AND WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME INTERNET FRIENDS AND I THINK WE NEED TO TAKE THIS INTERNET TO THE NEXT LEVEL OF ITNERNET

INETENERNET INTENERNET INETNET INTERNET

INTERNET

OH GEEZ

THE INTERNET IS OUT OF CONTROL

SHIT SON

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 08:04:10 GMT

YOU KNOW THIS THING THIS THING HERE IS CRAZY FUCKING CRAZY

I JUST DON'T KNWO WHAT I'M SAYING HERE NOW AND NOW I'M SAYING ALL THIS STUFF AND OH MAN

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

BUT SERSIOULY FOLKS

THIS OH MAN

ARLIGHT OKAY WHAT WAIT

WAIT

SHIT

I'M TRYING TO LIKE JUST KKEEP GOING AND NOT STOPPING OR LIKE GOING BACK AND CORRECTING SHIT AND NOT LIKE YOU KNOW PUASING TO THING OF SOMETHING TO LIKE OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

ANYWAY I THINHK THEY SHOULD LIKE FUCKING BAN THOSE OH MAN!

SHIT

I THIOUGHT OF A JOKE

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

TWO INDIANS WALKIINTO A BAR

AND THEN THE BARTENDERSAYS "HEY, NO INDIANS ALLOWED" AND

OH MAN IS THAT NOT HILAROUS?

NO?

SHIT

ALRIGHT AOOKAY FUCK

ANYWAYS

ANS I WAS SAYING BEFORE

FUCK!

ARLIGHT

HERE IS A NEW JOKE I JUST WROTE THIS(ACTUALLY I'M HOPIONG I'LL THINK OF IT BY THE TIME I START TYPING IT BECAUER RIGHT NOW I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT)

ALRIGHT

THIS GUY RIGHT HE'S LIKE WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND A FUCKING LEPRECAUN JUMPS OUT AND SAYS I'LL GRANT YOU THREE WISHES AND THE GUYS LIKE OKAY I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS AND THEN THE GUUY HE GETS A MILLION DOLLARS AND THEN HE SAYS ALRIGHT I WANT LIKE A FUCKING UHMMMMMMM A SUPERMODEL GIRLFRIEND SO HE GETS THAT AND THEN HE IS LIKE WHOA SHIT I WANT AND THEN THE FUCKING LEPRACHAUN LIKE STABS HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE AND IT TURNS OUT IT WASN'T A LEPRECAUHN AT ALL HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

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AHAH..

HAHAH

HA

AHHAH
EHEH
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EHEHEH

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HHEHEHE..

EH..

:(

FUCK